After reading Mr.Holtzman's post(I did read it! Too bad that I was on my phone, trying to comment but didn't work out well), this one just popped out of my head. I never wanted to bring this up again, but this could be best and the only story for the blog topic. Before giving away the story, I swear, I've never told this to anyone else, but you will be the first one to read it.
It's goes back to last year in Chicago, again. As it was my first year in USA, I wasn't as bright as now I am back then. It was my first time living with someone else other than my family, and of course I was even more scared because they weren't Korean, but American. There was another boy same age with me, called Logan, in my new (host)family. Having different cultures and lacking of comprehension skills held my back from getting to know him. I never get to have chance to get along with him. He sometimes offered me to play PS2 with him, but the awkwardness didn't get away.
For the first few months, I started to adjust to school but my family was different. For me, for some reason, it was so hard for me to approach them and hang out. It wasn't that they were mean. No, they were so nice, even nicer than my real parents. I stayed in my room forever after school, and crawl out in the morning have some breakfast and leave for school. I felt so awkward with the situation that I was placed. Talking to them was hard. I don't know how Americans feel about this, but as an English learner as second language, we feel embarrassed when we talk to native speakers because of our accents and grammatical errors. After experiencing some awkward situations -like not understand what each other's saying- I believe I had a kind of phobia. At school, I could just talk to my friends and if they don't understand? I'm just like screw you, never mind. Or even when they talk to me or ask me something, I don't understand? I just smile at them and everything was okay(Well, just once case that one girl wanted to know me and I didn't speak much words, just smiled then she thought I was ignoring her).
So, that was the build-up. I was a smart(I doubt it now) and funny Asian kid at school, but at home, I was a shy and poor Asian exchange student, who never talks nor understand what they say.
One day, I brought a chocolate to the school. At lunch, I ate a half of it, and I wrapped up the other half, put it in my pocket. I never expected, but at the end of the day, I found out the chocolate had melted in my pocket. It was disgusting. I went back home, changed to my shorts and while doing that, I found out the chocolate smeared half of my white underwear through my jeans. I was absolutely positive that the smudge will be gone when I laundry it.
The next day, I completely forgot about it. I was in my room, either playing games or doing my homework and there goes my embarrassment. Logan knocked on the door, delivering the folded clothes. He didn't bring my underwear and I didn't ask him about that because I never put it in my mind. After about five minutes, he knocked on the door again. As soon as I opened the door, I saw his puzzled face. Well, he was barely not holding my underwear. The dark chocolate never went away, and it even made it look more like a real poop. I tried to say something, I mean I couldn't have let it go. I was 15 and I had to prove that I don't poop in my pants at least not in my underwear! I was panicked. Thousands of different thoughts crossed my mind in a mere second but the only word came through my lips was "What the..." I slowly picked it up from his hand, pinky out. Referring to the tone and my reaction, he would've thought something like, he probably(definitely) pooped in the underwear and expected it to be gone and but was wrong, being shocked and embarrassed in front of me. I didn't have chance to explain it. I was hoping really bad, 'Goddammit! You HAVE TO ask me what is wrong with my underwear with a laughing face, RIGHT NOW! I will explain it, I will!'
He did not.
He just walked out to wherever he was. My head was blank and face was burning. He might have forgotten about that but for me, I had to try my best to forget that. Then, I never had chance to get along with him, just because I was still embarrassed and it made me nervous.
Just in case you might be reading it, Logan, it wasn't poop, I swear.
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